At what point did being a small business owner become doing everything yourself, by yourself?
When you take that big step into entrepreneurship, it feels like you’re ready to do whatever it takes to make your vision a reality. And then you figure out that it’s really hard to do that when you don’t even have time to eat lunch.
You decided to start this business, so it’s your responsibility to get the work done. But at what cost?
The Challenges of Doing It All Yourself
When you’re running a business, you’re not just doing your craft. You’re also an accountant, a copywriter, a salesperson, a manager, and a website designer. You know how to leverage your talents and skills for revenue, but you just don’t have experience in every aspect of running a business. You’re watching YouTube how-tos, asking your friend who once made their own website for advice, and staying up late taking online quizzes to figure out what type of manager you are.
With a lot of new information to learn, new skills to implement, and a ton of pressure to get it right, it’s no wonder that 62% of small business owners experience burnout.
Limited resources means limited growth. Growing a business requires just that - growth. Expanding your mindset, skillset, capacity, and vision. But restricting yourself to only your resources will limit your potential personally and professionally. And it will take a lot longer to get where you want to go.
I know how badly you want this business to succeed. You wouldn’t have started it if you didn’t. And at the same time, keeping yourself accountable to an endless to-do list is exhausting. And who is reminding you of the big picture? Of why you’re doing this in the first place?
This isn’t the business or the life that you dreamed of having. So, what can you do instead?
The Benefits of Support in Business Ownership
There’s nothing wrong with you if you don’t know how to do everything in your business. Working with someone who has different skillsets and experience from you means that you get to combine superpowers. It becomes a mutually beneficial partnership that speeds up your growth and reduces your stress levels.
Getting help from a trusted expert means a clear set of eyes on your business. As the owner, you’re often too close to see the strengths and limitations of your current operations. Finding efficiencies, streamlining processes, and learning new skills sets your business up for productivity, increased revenue, and increased satisfaction.
Here’s the truth: we’re just not meant to do everything alone. With access to support, you eliminate isolation and feel understood and energized so that you can actually take action in your business. Being able to share your concerns, brainstorm ideas, and get support from someone who cares about your business as much as you do means that you’ll be able to keep going without falling into burnout.
In my corporate era, partnering with the finance leaders in my organization helped me to boost my career and meet the company’s goals. They taught me how to read the data to find the problem. As an operations leader, I knew which problems we were able to address and how to solve them. Alone, our departments struggled to create change. But together, we made a dynamic duo that enhanced one another’s performance.
How to Hire a Partner
To be clear, by partner I mean someone who you invest in to help you in your business. This might be a coach, a contractor, or an actual legal business partner. The idea here is to find someone who aligns with your values, understands you and your business at a fundamental level, and truly cares about your success. Because no matter the size of your company, we all need partnership. We’re only so successful on our own, and only so happy on our own.
By far, the strongest objection to hiring support is money. Small business owners believe that they should be able to do it all, and that that’s the only way to make money. But if you’re struggling, unhappy, burnt out, and not seeing the revenue you want, something has to change.
We tend to make an investment based on a result that we want. But results are not entirely within our control, ever. So before you invest, here are a few key questions to consider.
Before I invested in my coach, I determined that what I really wanted out of the investment was peace of mind. I wanted a clear plan of action and an accountability partner to ensure my progress. Yes, spending the money was hard. But I knew that if I had these things, I’d be in a better place to achieve the revenue results I wanted for my business.
Once I started working with my coach, I immediately felt like everything was going to get better. I had someone that could help me make decisions, manage my mindset, offer insight and experience where I lacked it, and be there to support me no matter what. My partnership with my coach has reduced my stress and overwhelm and helped me to grow my business on my own terms.
I can confidently say that my investment was worthwhile. It feels so good to be in the fight with someone who cares about your business as much as you do.
Is a high-ticket partnership for everyone? Definitely not, which is why I offer support at different price points in my business.
If you’re looking for help to figure out if I’m the partner you and your business need, I’d love to chat with you.
Michelle Nicole Martin
The Business Owner's Coach
Top Small Business Voice on LinkedIn
Resources- Walmart Business Survey on Burnout
As a new leader, Nick was focused on his team’s engagement and building trust. But he found a lot of his time and energy was going towards one problem employee. The negativity was affecting him and he was struggling to figure out how to balance time with all employees.
“In a coaching session, Michelle asked me, do you think he trusts you? Maybe he’s genuinely unhappy about something else. She encouraged me to be open and honest and just straight-up ask him.”
After a few roleplays with Michelle, Nick gained confidence. When he talked to the team member in an open and intentional meeting, he realized a lot of their requests were pretty easy to address and then the relationship improved.
“It was really an ‘aha’ moment for me because I’m new, and need to remember trust is built over time. It was also a trust issue between me and myself,” Nick said.
Nick was one of the participants in Michelle’s three-month leadership development training program.
When you speak with Michelle about the programs she builds, her passion comes through. Skill development requires a dynamic approach that encompasses three main stages:
It's the integration that creates transformation and impact for the participants.
Pam, another participant in the program, has been leading employees for a few years. She has a self-development mindset and is always looking to improve her leadership skills.
A lightbulb moment for Pam was learning her DiSC Personality Test and starting to see work interpersonal situations differently. She describes herself as very direct and started to see how that could come across negatively to another personality type.
Everything DiSC® is a personal development learning experience that measures preferences and tendencies. It gives you a report with your personality traits and how they apply to your leadership and management style. Paige found her report was spot on.
“Now that I better understand my style and how I manage, I’m able to put myself in other people’s shoes, especially my team and with other managers at my organization.”
When you’re busy in your everyday work, Pam said it seems hard to find time to take a step back and consider others’ perspectives before contributing your own ideas. But one of her takeaways is that she can make the time and it only takes a few minutes.
“When you’re running from one meeting to the next, you can get so caught up in the work. What I learned is you actually can take a few moments to listen first. Now even in a meeting when someone’s presenting something maybe I don’t agree with, I remind myself their approach is just different. It doesn’t mean it’s wrong or bad, it’s just different. I’m constantly seeing myself take a step back now,” said Pam.
The ingredients for a cohesive team are common goals, trust, and effective communication. Learning about what this looks like in the program, Pam started to see the gaps at her own company. Teams worked in silos and didn’t always communicate with each other well. This meant people didn’t feel that connected with teams outside of their own.
After one of her first coaching sessions with Michelle, Pam organized a meeting with her organization’s leadership team.
“I explained how the foundation of a cohesive team was trust with each other and we had opportunities to build that better. As managers, we weren’t always aligned. It was really empowering and one way I quickly applied what I was learning in coaching to my workplace.”
Pam helped create an organization-wide action plan to help build trust, that starts with a few team-building activities and she recommended all leaders take the DISC Personality test.
Nick also started to see the gaps in his team around trust. In the day and night shift teams he worked with, he noticed there was a distrust between them and people were worried about getting blamed if something went wrong.
“One of the main things I took away from coaching was being real with people. Not sugarcoating things to try to please them. Sometimes people think trust is about being nice and not being a jerk. But really, it’s that the person can be blatantly honest with you,” said Nick.
He started bringing issues up at weekly team meetings and encouraged people to be open with eachother. Noah continued reminding the team of their shared goals and the importance of helping each other on the opposite shift. They started to see more peer-to-peer recognition and more help with training new people to be the best they can be.
“Try to help develop people rather than letting them sink. Put your hand in to help. Now we’re really living that and I’ve seen an incredible shift in my team,” said Nick.
Michelle is a coach and founder of Human-Centric Leadership, a boutique management consulting firm.
She found there were two main gaps in leadership development programs:
Michelle builds leadership development programs that involve three stages. Monthly group learning, weekly personal 1:1 coaching, and online coursework. Participants get feedback and support as they learn how to apply their new knowledge.
It’s a two-hour commitment every week and is set up to give participants opportunities to practice the leadership skills they’re learning daily.
The program focuses on learning your own leadership style so you can bring out the best in yourself and others. It takes you through to lead people in a way that cultivates trust and accountability and how to communicate effectively.
It provides access to mentorship, coaching, and talking through the struggles you’re having in a context that means something to you.
Michelle’s coaching centers around personal transformation to improve the leader's effectiveness and performance. However, because her coaching focuses on the who not the what, clients see positive impacts in their entire life.
Nick found stress at work was extending into his evenings and off hours. Your energy and stress don’t turn off at the end of your workday, it affects everything in your life too.
“Michelle takes the stress out of it. When you’re walking through a roleplay conversation with her and we talk through some issues, it takes the pressure off and helps expose the stressors. You hear that there are two sides to every story - Michelle gives you five. She helped open my eyes to see the bigger picture,” said Nick.
Pam found she still refers back to her coaching sessions often.
“Michelle puts you at ease and builds trust immediately. It blew my mind in a lot of ways. She almost knew me better than me. Michelle could pull these things out in discussions I wouldn’t have thought about. Her ability to relate on a human level helps catapult you to be a better leader,” said Pam.
“I've taken a lot away about how I perceive myself and the world. I’ve applied it to my friend group, my family, and my work team. This coaching is personal and applicable in every part of your life. Months after the program, the wheels are still turning for me.”
If you’re interested in developing your leadership skills, building trust with your team, and want support to take the stress out of those difficult conversations at work, let’s chat about coaching.
Book a consultation.
Written by; Erica Howes
The 6 Types of Working Genius - Developed by the Author of The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, Patrick Lencioni and the TableGroup. The Working Genius will help you discover the work that brings you passion and joy and the work that makes you miserable.
We can make our work life more fulfilling simply by seeing each other, interacting and utilizing each other effectively - All through dividing assignments, tasks and projects that align with our Genius'.
You can gain insight into this simple but game-changing tool by letting me take you through the five whys.
Who -
This tool is for individuals and intact teams who want to lean into their Genius' creating an environment that supports strengths and collaboration.
As an individual, if you want to understand more about who you are, what comes naturally, and to stop feeling guilt for the tasks you're "supposed" to do but fail to bring out your best. We don't need to be good at everything - we just need to know who to recruit to fill our working gaps.
Within your team, if you want to recognize the gifts of one another and tailor work when possible, then the Working Genius is for you. This tool can bring a team together to synergize, shifting away from individuals who just work together.
What -
The Working Genius assessment is a 20% personality and 80% productivity tool. Although I will focus on this tool through a work application, families, social groups, and marriages can benefit from the Working Genius.
Every project, task, assignment, family vacation, event, you name it, is always a six-letter - Working Genius job. The six letters that correlate to a Genius are W.I.D.G.E.T., which stands for Wonder, Invention, Discernment, Galvanizing, Enablement and Tenacity.
Every job we do requires these six Genius.' All six are equally important. You are capable of all six, but only two bring you true joy and fulfillment, two bring you frustration, and two are within your working competency. More on that soon - first, here are the six Genius' explained.
Wonder: The person who asks why? Is it enough? or is there something more? The person who ponders what is happening and whether a person or project is reaching its full potential. So often criticized for a perceived lack of buy-in due to the non-Wonder's misunderstanding of the intent behind the questions. Make no mistake - Wonder is a Genius when asking critical questions that spark the Invention Genius to solve the right problem.
Invention: When Wonder asks, "Ever wonder why we never hit the target in this area?" Invention says, "I can solve this problem. I can find a solution". Invention has empathy for the question. Solutions are accessible for the Invention Genius to pull out, especially when Wonder sparks a need for change.
Discernment: Not all inventions are good - here is where the Genius of Discernment comes in. Through intuition and instincts, the Discernment Genius knows how to gather information and come to reasonable solutions and advice. Discernment is not expertise - This Genius can naturally evaluate situations thoroughly and efficiently, even if they are not a topic expert.
Galvanizing: When the job gets to G, this Genius can say, if this project is worth doing, I will rally, organize and inspire people to take action. Now, how incredible is this Genius? This person makes even the mundane tasks look shiny - combined with getting everyone on the same page, the G creates the momentum needed to get the team in gear.
Enablement: Normally, the first follower of the Galvanizer, the Enablement Genius, can help with their incredible support to move the project along. This Genius is often selfless, incredibly supportive and underappreciated. As a D/I/G, I am sensitive to finding an E as a partner because I know I'm dead in the water without them. However, this Genius knows how to help and when to help - they are so dynamic and the gateway to Tenacity.
Tenacity: The finisher responding to the need to see a project, task or assignment finished and to achieve the desired results. This Genius gets absolute satisfaction from checking the box, completing the project and saying - this idea is now in the world because Tenacity crossed the finish line. This Genius lands the darn plane, hallelujah.
After going through all six Genius,' it's indisputable that all are equally important and required to complete something effectively. So the only questions remaining are, which Genius are you? And which Genius' are around you?
Where -
You can learn more here Home | The Six Types of Working Genius
You can work with a certified facilitator like me if you want team training and implementation. Many options are available depending on your needs, such as virtual or in-person, as well as for individual groups or intact teams.
Why -
The working Genius brings more fulfillment, productivity, quality and belonging to the workplace. Through the Working Genius, you can improve team dynamics and collaboration by helping individuals find their working passion and where everyone fits within W.I.D.G.E.T.
The working Genius provides teams with a common language and a better way to manage their dynamics, projects and meetings in a way that actually brings joy and fulfillment to all.
As individuals, we all want to be seen, heard and understood. With this tool, we can recognize, respect and utilize each other to meet our personal needs. Arguably a tool that helps combat some situations that cause burnout, quiet quitting and imposter syndrome.
How-
When a team embraces the Working Genius, they respect and see each other for the Genius they bring to the table and utilize each other's Genius to divvy up the workload.
Then there is Genius Energy.
Working Genius: When working in your Genius, your energy may feel everlasting. Work doesn't feel like work - in fact, it energizes you!
Working Competency: your energy is not everlasting here, so be mindful of how much time you spend in your Competency. The Working Competency is the danger burnout zone. Tricky because you're good at your Competency, maybe even great, but it's not the work that brings you joy, so when overused, you'll feel overused.
Working Frustrations: All joy and energy is gone when working in these areas. You may even feel guilt or shame regarding your Working Frustration.
For example, Enablement is my Working Frustration. There was a time when I carried guilt and shame around my lack of patience when I found myself in a situation that required this Genius. How can I be a good leader if I don't have a natural gift to provide encouragement and assist others? But we don't need to be good at everything - when I let myself accept this, I could finally manage it effectively. As a result, I found the Enablement Genius within my team and recruited their help. Now I see it as a relay race - we all play our part and are happy knowing where we connect.
Once I stepped out of the way of my Working Frustration, I provided an opportunity for a Working Genius to step in, creating a win-win scenario.
#workinggenius #patricklencioni #collaborate #teamdynamics #productivityimprovement #teamcohesion
Step into your leadership presence to help your team overcome failures and setbacks. Read this story of a 13 year old boy who did just that.
At a U14 house league hockey game, my son's team faced the last place team and suffered an embarrassing defeat. As you can imagine, the drive home was a roller coaster of emotions. My 13-year-old son flipped in and out of embarrassment, frustration, blame and anger.
When he arrived at the house, he came to see me in my office. Calm now, he recounted the game's twists and turns but then started to go down the rabbit hole of negativity the deeper he got into the story. So I jumped in, "Hey, tonight was a stinger. I would be hurt, too, if I was you. You can't control people, not the refs or your team. But you can inspire them, and you can motivate them to play better together" He said nothing and walked away after he kissed me goodnight. As the sole female in a house of boys, the lack of response is typical, so I thought nothing of it as I returned to work.
The following day he had another hockey game against the first-place team. My thoughts? "Oh boy, this may be a slaughter after yesterday." Ready to help, I woke up the morning of the game locked and loaded with an epic Denzel Washington-like motivational speech. I watched my son for any sign that he wanted to be inspired. But nope, the morning was uneventful. No signs and barely any conversation, hmmm.
Once we arrived at the arena, I couldn't hold back anymore, so I trimmed my speech by 99.9% and said, "Be you out there and focus on what you can control." He responded with a "Yeah, mom; I got it."
"Geez, I didn't realize" eye roll. Of course, a completely internal reaction; on the outside, I smiled.
During warmup, my son looked proud as ever. He is the Captain, and what that really means in house league, I don't know, but he wears it like he is going to the Olympics, and there is something I admire about that mindset. Then, finally, the ref's whistle rang out in the air, signaling the end of warmups, time to start the game. Then, something unusual happened. My son corralled his team in a circle by their own net, they stood around for a minute or so, and then the energy started to build before erupting in a cheer!
Contrary to my beliefs, this game did not turn into the slaughter I anticipated. Instead, it was tight, so tight. Clearly our team came out to play. We went up by one goal and held on to win the game. So what the heck just happened? After the game, one of the coaches approached my husband and asked if he had seen the team huddle. "Of course," my husband answered, "but I wasn't sure what to make of it" the Coach nodded and responded, "Jaxson asked if he could hold the huddle with the team today instead of the coaches, so we said sure."
Then the reality of what we witnessed hits. Did our son, the bratty, sweet boy we know, who 12 hours ago wanted to blame the world for his hurt and embarrassment, step up as a Captain? Did this 13-year-old boy take his role to heart? Did he really step onto that ice with the presence of a leader to rally his team to a victory against the first-place team? Yes, he did.
He didn't ask permission; he didn't play small in self-doubt. He wears the C, and that's all he needed. Damn.
We waited until we were alone in the truck before I asked him about the huddle "Jaxson, can I ask what you said to the team before the game?" "Yeah, that last night doesn't matter, we lost because we didn't play like a team. These guys know we got our butts kicked last night, and they think they can do the same now. No way, let's go run their sh*t" as he replayed the story, his voice faded almost to a whisper when he let the swear come out, which I found humorous but pretended like I didn't hear.
My curiosity in high gear, I asked, "Jaxson, when did you know you were going to do this," Cool as a cucumber, he responded, "last night before I went to bed, I knew what I had to do." Awestruck, I almost asked him to come to work and evaluate my leadership skills. But, the part I found fascinating was his conviction and confidence. He wasn't arrogant or cocky; instead, he was poised and had an air of leadership presence that was inspiring.
It's a reminder that when things go south, you can be critical and list the facts, who should've done what, and when. Or, with humility and presence, you can lead through tough times by modelling the behavior of "we win together, we fail together, we can and will raise together."
Which type of leader will you choose to be?
#leadershippresence #inspiringleadership #teambonding #teamwork #togetherwearestronger
I guess it just depends on the circumstance, and in mine, when I killed off "Corporate Michelle," an era died, and grieving was a harsh reality.
I started with WM in the spring of 1998 as a temporary helper throwing garbage into the back of a truck. I remember the day I tested for my commercial license and passed. That day was the first time in my life that I set my sights on a career.
I started as a poor, uneducated female in the waste industry with no company connections and no idea that I could excel to the heights that lay ahead. However, I've received six promotions in my career since 2006 and finished as an Area Fleet Director (AFD) in a company of 50,000 strong. I am 1 of 17 AFDs. Wow, I had it made.
At the same time, I always had a narrative that went something like this "If you could do anything as a career, would this be it?" No matter what role I was in or how happy and thriving I was, when that question crossed my mind, the answer was always a quick and firm "no." So I've always been able to put that thought on the backburner since I had no reason to deal with it until I did.
"Don't be afraid to give up good to go for great" John D. Rockefeller.
Job grief can look different depending on the personal story behind it. However, if there is one message you can take from this article, let it be this: Regardless if job loss is at your will or not, it's pretty damn personal!
In my case, it's a massive part of your life. I lived my values, passion and growth through my work. There are also countless benefits and experiences that my family and I had because of my career, and those are with us forever. The more informed and accepting we are of the reality that grieving a job is real, the better we can support ourselves and others through the process. There are 5 Stages to grief, looking back I can clearly see that I went through all 5.
Earlier this year, that "no" seemed to want to step out of the shadows to be seen once and for all. No matter how much I tried to logic my way into believing different, no matter how much, my brain attempted to suppress the unwanted thoughts, the force of this inner pull was relentless.
How can I possibly give up the career I worked so damn hard to build? People with my story don't make it. How can I trust the unknown, and how will that impact my family? And heaven forbid I talk to someone about it because then it would be real.
No. I can't do this, and I won't. So shhh. Deny, move on and, in my case… book a trip.
This stage was a fun time. Mysteriously every issue at work, anything that was out of place, suddenly became ultra-irritating, which was, of course, everyone else's fault.
If only our team were more _____. If only we could _____. How can this process be so difficult? If we know it, why aren't we changing it? I like how that department just expects this and that. Maybe they should ______.
There were times when my inner voice said, "whoa, who are you right now?" But I continued to shove any ray of reason back down into the dungeons of denial. All those thoughts were significantly out of character. It was apparent I was out of alignment. Maybe part of me thought (even hoped) leaving would be easier if I suddenly hated the company and the team.
But there just was (and still is) no bona fide hate.
"Ok, you're not growing. That's why you feel stuck. It's ok to take a course, learn and apply it to your career. You'll be better and help those around you". What a great idea! Yeah!"
After hours of research and a few discovery calls, I signed up for the IPEC coaching program. It's an accredited course, which in the end, meant I would have my CPC, certified professional coach designation.
So here's denial at its finest. I was only taking this course to "grow and be "better." If that were true, why did I pick a program that could help me be employable as a coach in the future? Also, the goal was to facilitate growth within my role, then why did I choose to pay for it? Furthermore, why didn't I share it with those at work until months later?
Actions really do speak louder than words, whether you are ready to face the truth or not.
After signing up for the program, my focus and spirits lifted, which probably prolonged my denial even more. Nevertheless, it seemed to affirm that my strategy was on point right up until I completed my first in-class training block.
Then it hit me like a slap in the face. Being in this program wasn't just a training strategy. It was my intuition, knowing better than my brain, that it was time for me to step into something that was in total alignment with who I am and what I am ready to express.
I want to be a coach. I need to be a coach. I want to help liberate the extraordinary potential and gifts we hold within us. I like this for others, for me, for all.
The moment I let myself feel and think all those thoughts was the moment I realized by saying yes to this, I was saying no to that.
The reality is harsh and, for a pocket of time, crushing.
How do I leave a steady paycheck and a career of over two decades? How do I do this to my family? What if I fail and sink this ship? Why would I want to leave something that has been so amazing? And, if coaching feels so right, why is it so damn hard?
I needed time to waffle, cry, and make new plans to picture myself outside WM. I just needed time to be sad and say goodbye.
The thing I found with stage 4 is that it was so crushing when I realized I couldn't stay and needed to move on to the next era. So, I just didn't move. I tried to distract myself by building a website, having professional photos taken, and completing school work, but really I was just keeping myself occupied with busy work while I procrastinated to face the inevitable.
I was in a self-induced purgatory, and it was time to get out.
On Tuesday, September 20th, as I spoke to my husband, I allowed myself to say aloud, "I don't want to be the Director of Fleet anymore. All I want to do is Coach". Later that day, I told my boss everything as I bawled my eyes out! I denied my truth for so long that I was overcome with emotion. I tried to suppress it, name it, accept but it was all too much to keep inside anymore.
September 27th, I confirmed that I was leaving at the end of Q1 2023. On September 28th, I wrote my resignation, a day I never imagined would come to be. Finally, on October 4th, I announced to my peer team and then to the Operations and Fleet Leaders that I was leaving. Every time I said it, more of the WM me died while simultaneously, I felt like I could breathe deeper.
As I was killing off my old self, something strange happened. I didn't have to hide it anymore. And because I wasn't hiding it, I stopped losing time and energy. My thoughts started to focus on WM work by day and Coach strategy by night. Because I allowed myself to think like a Coach, because I am a Coach, creativity began to rush through like water bursting through a dam. Finally, I could lean into it, which meant I could see it, believe it, and be it. It was like shifting from winter to spring. I have never felt so alive.
Michelle Martin
So, believing in your full potential is hard, like "America Ninja Warrior" hard. First, you’re going through the obstacle course, barely making it through, always one slip away from failure. Then, you see your inner critic leading the way, grinning back at you, snickering. Telling you are the reasons why you won’t make it.
Playing small, doing what works for you now, is safe and more manageable. The only problem is your heart, and your brain is not in sync. You don't have a chance to come alive in your work ( not entirely), and you have a feeling, one that you keep hidden. A feeling that tells you that you can be more and further, you believe you can, but you don't know for sure because you haven't given yourself the opportunity to try.
If any of these resonate with you or someone you know, keep reading.
Be on the lookout for these 3 Mindset Villains.
Is this you? You're always downplaying your gifts because you're worried about what others will think. You don't want to come across as boastful, full of yourself, or attention seeking. You dim your light to be “polite”, but the side effect is that you never get to see your brightest light.
For you - How does this action help you? It's hard to get promoted if leaders never see what you're capable of doing. It's even harder to stand out in the market if you always have your head down working hard. In the end, if you don't let yourself see your gift, you won't believe you have it. The heart believes, what the mind sees.
For the others – Consider this instead. Think about something you can do exceptionally well. It's easy for you, and maybe you don't fully understand why it's easy for you and not others, but regardless you love it, and you're willing to help when asked. Other people don't seem to get it the way you do.
Now, what if you thought of that as a gift, and those of us who don't have your gift, desperately need it to make our lives easier? Wouldn't you share it if you thought it could help someone? If you knew someone was desperate for it?
Here's the thing, we can't see your gift if you’re always hiding and downplaying it! The part to solve is the why. Why do hide your gift? Or why don’t you see your gift as a gift? Solve that! Because people need what you have.
"The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away."
― Pablo Picasso
Having psychological safety gives you the courage to try. When you work with someone who has your back and believes in you, is proud to work with you, is engaged in helping you, and is judgement-free no matter how you stumble, you feel safe enough to open up and try.
Picture this, your light is locked in a safe, and while it’s in there, we go through a range of emotions. We go from suppression to hope, to anxious excitement, to action and Boom! the safe flies open and your light (also known as your gift) is free to shine and flourish. Oh, it's exhilarating!! As a coach, this is my favorite stage to experience with someone.
When you feel safe, self-doubt subsides. Your mission is to find a way to feel safe and take action toward the best version of yourself while reaching your full potential.
"Self-Doubt Kills more Dreams than Failure ever Will" Check out this article by L.K Monu Borkala for Tips on beating self-doubt. Negative Effects of Doubt | Research Backed (collegemarker.com)
I love to stand up against this thought. People, circumstances and situations change all the time, and I have seen even the smallest changes in these areas open up the door for opportunity. But when that door opens, you need to be ready to walk through and say hello!
I wish it were that easy for everyone all the time, but in this section, our limiting beliefs can be a real bitch. Traditionally, in the business world, the focus is on the result. You are expected to know the task and get it done. I'm sure it comes across much more pleasant than that but that's the size of it in a nutshell. However, if you have a great partner, boss, mentor or coach, and you have psychological safety, this is an excellent time to find the courage to dig deep.
Addressing limiting beliefs will not only improve your work performance, but it will also lighten the load you've been carrying. It will shift momentum towards the positive, which means confidence, stretching, growing, and finding resilience through setbacks. You'll be creating a self-made renewable source of energy that will feel like the wind on your back!
Addressing and conquering limiting beliefs will change your life. Period.
Getting started is the hardest part. Usually, at this point in the conversation, when I’m working with someone, we review the behavior triangle.
The idea behind the behavior triangle is that our experiences form our beliefs, our belief determines our actions, then our actions create our results. The results feed our experiences, rinse and repeat for every facet of our lives.
Notice anything? It's a self-fulfilling prophecy!! All you must do is break the cycle. Act different, get different.
Suppose that feels a bit ick for you, like you can't believe it. Ask yourself, how would I think, feel, and act if I thought the outcome would be different? Get feedback from people you trust. Put effort into a strategy, get behind that effort with all your heart and go for it again.
I prefer to view the behavior triangle in circle form because in real life, it’s a continuous loop and this loop can be empowering or discouraging. The biggest opponent we face is ourselves. The crumby thing is that we always tend to remember the discouraging memories over the positive ones. Getting burned seems to happen instantly, whereas progress seems to take its sweet ol' time. That's a perception play. All results are earned, whether you mean to or not.
As you reflect on the parts of the story that are true for you, the question that remains is, what is one thing you can do today to lean into the person you were meant to be?
Go for it, I believe you can.
Michelle Nicole Martin
PTO: Paid time off, also known as personal time off.
A message posted by Jack Appleby triggered a memory of when my boss contacted me while I was on vacation in Mexico!
I accepted an international inner-company transfer in January 2017. At the time, I headed out alone without my family to begin my new journey in the United States. I took nothing but the dog and a suitcase leaving behind my two boys and husband. In March, my boys joined me with my husband following two months later. In December 2016, this all seemed like a solid, logical plan. Still, it was torture, and I would never recommend a family split for an extended period, no matter how rational it seems.
In celebration of our family reuniting, we decided to take a trip to Mexico together. I felt like all I had done was eat - sleep - work since January, so I needed it. Plus I missed my family. My team knew I was heading out, my boss said he would cover, and all seemed perfect. Then on the first business day of my vacation, I got a text.
"Hey, we need you to approve a purchase order in the system."
"How am I supposed to do that? I'm in Mexico."
"Ted (my then boss) says just log into your laptop and approve; it's ok."
Oh, I see. My boss was standing beside my employee, asking her to text me. Of course, he wouldn't dream of asking me directly.
Furious, although my career flashed before my eyes, I continued and shot back a response that said,
"You guys are hilarious; I didn't bring my laptop with me because I'm on vacation." Not my finest moment.
"You can approve from your phone."
Ugh. Defeated.
Sadly it seems my story is not uncommon. For example, in this article by Ashton Jackson on CNBC.com, she reports that 54% of respondents can't disconnect from work on vacation.
54% of people can't disconnect from work on vacation. Here's why (cnbc.com)
However, as infuriating and disheartening as that experience was, I learned exactly what I would never do as a leader. So when I returned, I started a new movement. My team implemented a vacation protocol and supported each other during vacation. We practiced restraint when the "expert" was not accessible. We had to work together, get creative and find alternative solutions. Yes, people first said they liked it until the challenging moments arrived. Thankfully as people returned from vacation, recharged, and were grateful for a disconnected break, the momentum grew and soon enough we were all experiencing team-supported vacation bliss.
Don't be this person!
"Sorry, I know you're on vacation, but I have something I need your help with."
What you're really saying is that the other person's mental health and boundaries don't matter to you. Smile, but fix my problem.
Why Taking Vacation Time Could Save Your Life (forbes.com)
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